A ChucksConnection Film Review

 

Nicole ‘NIKI’ Zefanya wears optical white high top Converse “Chuck Taylor” All Stars in the film.

Peter Adrian Sudarso wears black low top Converse “Chuck Taylor” All Stars in the film.

But I’m Letting Go

by Marcus Angulo

The poster for But I’m Letting Go features both Ben and Nicole in chucks.

 

In her young career, Indonesian singer-songwriter NIKI has become known for her emotional, thoughtful lyrics. She tells stories and this was the theme of her sophomore album, Nicole. Released on August 12th, 2022, the album included three singles: “Before”, “Oceans and Engines”, and “High School In Jakarta”. Alongside the album, a short film titled But I’m Letting Go was produced containing the three singles. The film stars NIKI and Peter Adrian Sudarso and is directed by Isaac Ravishankara. It was released through Amazon Prime Video on August 18, 2022, with screening events in Los Angeles, New York, and Jakarta.

Nicole is introduced as a “friend” and not as a girlfriend.

This film begins with “the end” as we open with Nicole (NIKI) and Ben (Sudarso) in a parked car. He says that he is really glad she was able to come and she agrees, but there is an awkward energy in the car. Before they can continue, a drunk kid in a costume jumps on the hood of the car and then runs off. The two laugh it off and head into the dorm where a Halloween party has spilled into the halls as NIKI’s “Before” plays. They head into Ben’s room but once in there, he takes Nicole’s drink from her. Ben’s roommate comes in and asks why he’s not coming to the party and Ben says that he’s with his “friend”, which clearly angers Nicole. She then takes a drink which angers Ben and the awkward energy in the room intensifies. They make up later but Nicole stays up after Ben falls asleep to continue singing “Before”. She opens up Ben’s desk and finds a photo of them from high school and she thinks back to that happier time. The next day the couple hang out on campus where there are more awkward moments between them. These culminate at night when Ben pays more attention to his phone and Nicole locks herself in the bathroom as Ben admits he is seeing someone else now. That night, Nicole solemnly leaves without saying goodbye as “Before” fades out in the background.

 

What do you mean you don’t eat meat anymore?

 

The film then jumps back to everything “in-between” as we cut to when Ben first left for school. They share one last meal together at the beach as “Oceans and Engines”. Nicole thinks back to their dance at prom together as Ben dances in front of the car before “boarding” a plane. Nicole then drives home alone singing and thinking of Ben. Weeks later, she is at the beach again and we see her texts on the screen. She’s been texting Ben but has been getting no response so her friends urge her to forget about him and come to lunch with them. She goes but all she can think about is the time she came to this same restaurant with Ben. This continues throughout the day as she tries to move one but she only can think about Ben. We end the film at “the beginning” with scenes from when Nicole and Ben first met in high school as “High School in Jakarta” plays. We see their love blossom which makes it all the more tragic knowing it doesn’t have a happy ending.

 

Ben and Nicole holding hands before he leaves for college.

 

When you hear that an artist has made a short film based on their music, you expect a string of music videos loosely tied together. However, in a testament to her songwriting, NIKI creates a cohesive and effective narrative that is accentuated by her music. The weaving of this love story both through the acted-out scene and the lyrics of her songs gives a lot of emotion and weight to what is a short film. NIKI also proves herself to be a pretty natural actor and it never feels like she is trying to act. This along with the chemistry she has with her costar makes this feel like we the audience are truly just watching the lives of two real people. It does leave you wishing that this had maybe been extended into a mini-series to see more of Nicole and Ben and how they got to the point they did. Here’s hoping that NIKI gets another chance to tell visual stories while continuing to make music.

Best Chucks Scene

Realizing you flew all this way for someone who would rather be with anyone else but you.

 

Both Nicole and Ben wear chucks throughout this short film, but the best chucks scene in this film is the breakup scene that happens in Ben’s dorm room. After an awkward day of being referred to as a “friend” by Ben, Nicole tries to engage in conversation while they sit on his dorm room floor. However, Ben is distracted by his phone and someone who has been texting him all day. Nicole asks who it is and Ben snaps saying that he doesn’t know because she won’t let him check it. Nicole gets up and locks herself in the bathroom as Ben explains that he thought they were done and he’s been talking to someone else. We see Nicole’s white chucks as she sits crisscross on the toilet trying to process her emotions as she realizes she flew out here for someone who doesn’t care about her anymore. It’s a very good scene and seeing Nicole go through a range of emotions without resorting to screaming or sobbing.

Nicole gets up to leaves in her optical white chucks.

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